REVIEW – well, sort of: Catching Fire

ImageThe little bro and I decided that we were going to get our teeny-bopper on and watch Catching Fire, the sequel to the book-to-big screen installment of The Hunger Games. And since I can’t talk out loud – well, except for moments in movies where it’s appropriate to react (think The Orphan, when mama slaps little Russian girl in the face) – here’s some notes of the movie.

  • Elizabeth Banks (Effie) is everything. Fabulous, fierce… a gay man’s dystopian reincarnate. But I’m biased. As a gay man, I love all things divine, however, Banks surprisingly brings a lot of emotions to the table when it’s time for the beloved District 12 tributes to go bye bye.
  • Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson) magically shape shifts into a heartthrob whenever he’s being romantic… and in my case, it’s somewhere near the opening when they have to appear on camera. Other than that, he’s totes forgettable in every aspect of this movie because we have dickwad Finnick Odair (Sam Claflin) to gawk at. Girl, that chest makes me want to sing Ciara songs all night. I can’t keep my hands off yoooou
  • This movie suffers from the “There was more storyline than action” syndrome, which isn’t a bad thing at all. In addition, the movie begins to evolve into Survivor: [Insert Island Name Here] rather than Battle Royale, the Japanese movie everybody likes to compare The Hunger Games trilogy to.
  • Johanna Mason (Jena Malone) can see the shade of it all and I appreciate how she’s that bitch in the movie.
  • For a bunch of career victors, their b-roll is bigger than their bite. I’m surprised Enobria (Meta Golding) doesn’t do much, much less say much in the flick. Additionally, Catching Fire fails to really emphasize how much of a threat the career pack is. The send-offs are much more tragic, leaving the District 1 tributes to be off’d by one hit blows.
  • Despite how good of an actor Philip Seymour Hoffman (the guy who plays Pluto Heavensbee) is, I keep seeing him as Father Flint from Doubt. And as he connives against our protagonists, I keep expecting to see Meryl Streep, complete in nun garb, to burst from curtains and yell, “so this is what you’re up to!”
  • Any scene with Gale Hawthorne (Liam Hemsworth) is just fucking awkward. Not because Hemsworth’s performance is bad, because it isn’t! But because Hutcherson is so good at being romantic that you just look at Hemsworth and you’re like, “Oh god, the side bitch. Swerve, please!”
  • I didn’t read the book but is Cinna supposed to have eyeliner on? If so, then that is so gay – but apparently, according to, there’s bisexual inspiration. Not sure if Lenny Kravitz meant to have the eyeliner, but still.
  • The scene with the monkeys? Gold. The scene with the birds that can imitate people’s voices? Awesome. The animal scenes were probably the most action-packed of the whole movie and well, now I’m sorta frightened by baboons.
  • And finally, Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence), the girl on fayaaaaaa – absolutely stunning. But that’s a given otherwise the girl wouldn’t have gotten an award for Silver Linings Playbook. But let’s be shallow and focus on Lawrence, whose an advocate for eating whatever the fuck you want. America, get hip to this. And if you’re already gorging on everything like I am, you are hip to it. Lawrence and her full fucking face is too damn gorgeous – even when she’s ugly face crying. I’m sitting there like, “Shit. I wanna look like that.”

So should you watch Catching Fire? Um, yeah. If you caught the first flick, haul that ass over to your nearest cinema. If you haven’t, you won’t be completely in the dark. And if you’re a fan of the book, there will be discrepancies, but they don’t take away from the film.

About neilprotacio

Freelance journalist who just so happens to know what goes well with certain breads.
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